Could You Be Dressing Sexier? A Guide For Men

DO MEN want to look sexy? I think so, yes,” said Fredric Cibelli, a principal at a big New York consulting firm. “I do.” That doesn’t mean the 46-year-old rocks bicep-baring muscle shirts à la Channing Tatum in “Magic Mike.” Rather, his version of a hot outfit flashes forearm: It comprises crisp cream pants and a fitted, long-sleeve navy knit with the sleeves pushed up. Derek Vick’s spin on sexy skews more “Butch Cassidy” machismo. The 30-year-old, who owns a marketing agency in Hattiesburg, Miss., hits the town in Wranglers and a Henley tee, its sleeves cuffed to show his CrossFit-toned guns. Chunky-heel cowboy boots, which bump his height from 5-foot-10 to about 6-foot, complete the look. “When I go out, I want to turn heads,” he said.

You might consider these guys bold, even brave, for confessing their desire to dress sexily. For many men, aspiring to “sexy” is deeply uncool, reeking of cheesiness and sleaze. The term elicits eye rolls and sends images of questionable leather pants and 1970s-era silk shirts slithering into one’s mind. Though racy, sheer, high-fashion designs have strutted down recent runways, it’s hard to summon everyday references for sexy men’s outfits. That became clear in March, when a tweet asking how guys can spice up their style attracted 5 million views and close to 500 comments. Among the top suggestions? Unrelatable rock’n’roll clichés, like undo up to four buttons on your shirt.

Because you’re not Mick Jagger, that is certainly one (and probably two) too many buttons untethered. But here’s the good part: Body-baring style à la Jagger is not the secret to stealing hearts in 2023. Given current attitudes, it’s surprisingly easy to put together uncringey outfits that, call them “sexy” or not, up your game on date night and inspire a healthy dose of swagger.

Today, that means smoldering quietly, not braying, said Michael Fisher, the stylist to such A-listers as Jake Gyllenhaal. It calls for small commitments, like seeking out well-fitting pants and outfits with alluring textures (think cashmere, suede or even eyeleted cotton—more on that in Black-Diamond Sexy, below). But it absolutely does not require you to arrive at dinner dressed like your pecs are the main course.

This is a select-your-spice situation. Your version of sexy could center on rugged denim or the svelte tailoring the label Celine is known for. But the most current take relies on loucheness. You may have noticed the languid summer silhouettes populating menswear stores. Thanks to all those flowy shirts and trousers, Dan Snyder, founder of New York brand Corridor, thinks menswear is enjoying its sexiest era since the ’90s, when Giorgio Armani sold drapey, “American Gigolo”-ish suits.

Whichever aesthetic you pursue, know that few things appeal more than an outfit that nails the dresscode. Dressing appropriately for the occasion is a cardinal rule for Austin, Texas, dating coach Blaine Anderson. “For men, I correlate sexiness with looking the part,” she said. So don’t wear your suit to a date at a burger joint, or turn up to the opera house in a toucan-print beach shirt. Not sure of the vibe? Go with dark jeans—they rarely look out of place, said Anderson. And keep your clothes presentable; the nonchalant, morning-after thing only works if you’re a Brooklyn artist. “There’s nothing sexier,” said Fisher, “than owning a hand-held steamer.”

The sweet spot, said Fisher, is to look like you’ve considered your outfit but aren’t desperately trying to impress. Any overt attempt at sexy hurtles into cringe territory if you seem ill at ease. So avoid forced styles that “put it all out there,” said Fisher, like a tank top with nothing over it or a blazer with zilch underneath. Extreme fits look try-hard too. Polos so shrunken they suffocate biceps? Not sexy. Saran Wrap-tight jeans with a phone and wallet bulging from the pockets? The most powerful contraceptive known to man.

And when shooting for libertine, think relaxed, not drowning-in-fabric oversize, said London designer Charlie Casely-Hayford. Vastly baggy is a turnoff, agreed Gerald Yarborough, 43, a creative executive who splits his time between New York and Los Angeles. “You look like you’re wearing a trash bag.”

Far more enticing: Easy cuts that casually reveal slivers of skin, like a buttonless Johnny-collar polo that lolls open to reveal clavicles (everyone has good ones). Or, for bolder sorts, a lace short-sleeve shirt from a brand like Our Legacy or Harago. When worn over a tank top, these trendy, gauzy designs flirt without threatening to flash a nipple.

The O.G. sexy-style move, though, requires no shopping. Just casually cuff any long-sleeve top below the elbow (like the consultant Cibelli does with his navy knit). If not done too neatly, the maneuver suggests two irresistible ideas: 1) That the cuffer has never been so relaxed; 2) that he’s also capable of knocking off manual tasks around the house.

Not even a lustworthy cuff can save you if your pants are unintentionally falling off your backside. Loads of guys wear trousers and jeans whose back pockets sag between the “thigh and butt,” said Albert Muzquiz, a Los Angeles menswear influencer who worked in denim stores for several years. These sad, low-slung styles rob your behind of any shape. To max out your assets, ensure the back pockets sit “squarely on” your posterior, said Muzquiz. Classic workwear pants and jeans with higher rises—like the Levi’s 501 Original Shrink-to-fit—achieve this, he said. They also make your legs look longer.

A flattering outfit catches fire when you introduce textures that “make you want to touch them,” said Muzquiz, like lustrous lyocell. Yarborough, who’s a “little bit bigger” and prefers not to flash much skin, treats materials as sartorial hot sauce. He chooses pieces that catch a restaurant’s moody lighting—a gleaming bomber, a diamond tennis chain. And on nights out, he often wears a cashmere V-neck sweater sans tee. It feels flirty, he said, to skip a base layer and just have the soft wool against his skin.

Some men admit that they dress sexily purely to attract others. Not so for Yarborough. “I dress for myself,” he said. When he leaves the house in a rakish look, he “can feel [imaginary] cameras flashing,” he said. Fabrizio Alliata, 31, who works for a New York extended-reality agency, agrees that expressing yourself is key to sensual style. He’ll spike a quiet outfit—chinos, loafers—with a cheeky aloha shirt from Hawaii, where he grew up. When so many guys dress like carbon copies, idiosyncrasies like this provide a refreshing, self-assured wink. “You want to have a little fun,” he noted, “and to say: ‘This is who I am.’”

Sexy, Sexier, Sexiest

Three outfits to consider with ascending levels of hotness from ‘any guy can pull this off’ to ‘confidence definitely required’

*Beginner Sexy*

Buttonless Polo Your look’s off to a strong start because the first thing you’ll do is cuff this top, a little untidily, to mid-forearm. Few style moves grant swagger so easily. Designer and tailor Charlie Casely-Hayford finds no-button, Johnny-collar polos extra suave due to their clean lines and splayed collars.

Flattering Workwear Pants Classic styles with a slightly higher waist—like Dickies or Ben Davis designs—frame your posterior nicely, said influencer Albert Muzquiz. Choose an unfussy, straight-leg fit.

Black Loafers Hot dinner date? Don’t let yourself down with scruffy shoes—a common style error guys make on dates, said personal stylist Peter Nguyen. Chunky loafers have attitude—but make sure they’re black, said stylist Michael Fisher. ”Brown leather shoes in the evening always look bad to me. They’re too casual.”

Final Touches A refined Cartier Tank offsets the workwear pants. Ray-Bans add a “Top Gun” note.

**Intermediate Sexy**

Tee with Character If you can find a fun item that resonates with you, it’ll inject personality into your outfit, said Fabrizio Alliata, a dapper New Yorker. (This motorcycle-themed example would be ideal for petrol heads.) Tame this louder piece with an otherwise-subdued outfit.

Single-Button Blazer with Sloped Shoulders No other blazer style makes guys look so athletic, said Casely-Hayford. The sole button streamlines your form by focusing the eye on a single point in your middle rather than breaking your body up with several fasteners. Unlike boxy-shouldered designs, blazers with less padding and a sloped silhouette suggest you have well-developed lat muscles, he said.

Dark Jeans A versatile, attractive option, said dating coach Blaine Anderson. For a relaxed modern fit, Fisher suggests getting a straight-leg cut—but going up one size.

Accessories Chelsea boots provide polish. A key ring slung from your belt-loop supplies attitude.

***Black-Diamond Sexy***

Tank Top and a Racy Shirt Gauzy or lace short-sleeve shirts are appealingly playful when thrown over a ribbed tank. (Wear them undone or mostly unbuttoned.) That combo reveals glimpses of skin without going over the top. This Corridor design is hole-punched with eyelets.

Pleated, High-Waist Pants 1950s-esque trousers that sit well above your hips “cut you off at a very attractive point” and make your legs appear longer, said Casely-Hayford. You don’t need to be a 6-foot-2 beanpole to pull off this style, he said, but if you’re shorter or have a tummy, adjust the waist so it’s not quite as high. Pleats add an old-school elegance that tempers the outfit’s more risqué top half.

Bling A chain can be rakish provided it’s slimmish and neither too long nor choker-tight. The ideal length, per Fisher: 22-24 inches. Plus, you can’t go wrong with a simple, beefy silver ring.

Fisherman sandals Set to be the hot men’s shoe this summer. A little cheeky.