Grief weighs on Lac-Mégantic as sombre vigil marks 10-year anniversary of deadly explosion

Walking across the lawn of the Sainte-Agnès de Lac-Mégantic church overlooking what used to be a bustling downtown core, Marie-Josée Grimard still hears her mother's laugh ring throughout the town. 

Ten years ago to the hour, the native of Lac-Mégantic Que., saw her mother, Henriette Latulippe, for the last time a mere hour before the downtown core and her mother's home would be levelled by one of Canada's worst rail disasters.

Just after 1 a.m. ET on July 6, 2013, 72 tank cars of crude oil destroyed the core of the town located in Quebec's Eastern Townships, just north of Maine. 

 Latulippe, 61, who was sleeping in her home downtown, was one of the 47 people who died.

On the 10th anniversary of the disaster and her mother's death, Grimard, who now lives in Montreal, returned to the town to participate in a silent vigil — one of several events organized by the town to honour the victims.

Wearing a white star attached to a lanyard around her neck, Grimard walked alongside hundreds of residents and tourists who travelled there to pay their respects. 

She said the commemoration brought her peace. Last year she returned to the town for the first time. This year, Grimard wanted to come again to "turn the page and start living a normal life."

"I think it's time to move forward," she said.

"You can live in sadness but you can also choose to find joy in life. It's not an easy path and we don't forget them. I can still see my mother walk in this town."

'Not a night like any other night tonight'

Paul Wayland, a lawyer at DHC Avocats attended the vigil out of solidarity. A Montrealer, he arrived in Lac-Mégantic 12 days after the tragedy and was one of the lawyers for the town. 

Since then, Wayland said he's felt like part of the "family of Lac-Mégantic," a tight-knit community of about 6,000.

"It's not a night like any other night tonight," said Wayland, looking at the dozens of people arriving at the church.

Many residents and tourists wore a mixture of bright white, green and blue stars around their necks — the colours of the town flag. 

"When I come here, I feel at home," said Wayland. "It's like my community too."

Hours before the vigil, residents packed in the church pews for a baroque music concert with the ensemble Le Petit Rien which marked the start of the anniversary events in town. Louise Latulipe, a long time resident says her mind travelled back to 10 years ago when the noise of the derailment woke her up.

"I thought it was a plane crashing overhead. We walked to the corner and that's when we saw what was happening," said Latulipe.

"I felt it my duty to be here," said Latulipe, adding that she often visits the memorial throughout the year.

"It's my way of saying rest in peace."

At 11 a.m., the town will hold a commemorative mass and later that evening there will be a concert in the Parc des Vétérans.

The town's Musi-Café will hold its own concert on Friday at 9 p.m.

Lise Michaud and her husband Yvon Vanasse drove to Lac-Mégantic for the first time since July 6, 2013, to attend the commemoration. Ten years ago they were staying at a local inn when the train derailed. 

"I'm feeling sad and heavy," said Michaud. She says being back in town made her have unusual dreams.

They narrowly escaped the explosion. They were staying downtown, but then decided to move because downtown was too noisy. If not for the change in their accommodation, she says they would've been among the victims.

Stéphane Vachon, a long-time resident of the town, will attend all the events in town this week. He says it's part of his healing process to pay tribute to the lives lost.

"When something like this happens it forces you to heal but also to look forward," said Vachon. 

"I think we've done a good job.… Healing is variable, it depends on each person."

But he says it's important to respect townspeople who choose not to attend anniversary events. For many, they mark the anniversary alone — still struggling to deal with the grief of losing so many friends, neighbours and loved ones.

Working through grief

Wynne Parkin, another long-time resident, is spending the anniversary at home. The events of the early morning of July 6 are "burnt" in her memory.

Her 13 year-old daughter woke her up at 1:15 a.m.

"She said 'mom, I think the aliens have landed because the sky's lit up,'" said Parkin, standing on the porch of her lakefront property.

"So I walked to the end of the street and the sky was on fire and it looked like an atomic bomb."

"We could see everything on fire and I was like, oh my God my friends live over there. So I'm phoning but no one's answering their phone," said Parkin as her voice cracked.

Her three friends died that morning. She says she still can't shake the feeling she had looking over the lake, 10 years ago.

"It was the visual, but it was the sound," said Parkin. "It sounded like a monster."

For six months following the tragedy, Parkin, an artist, stopped painting. But eventually saw painting as a way to heal.

She created four paintings dedicated to the tragedy. A nearly five-foot painting shows the disaster and a plume of smoke and fire over the town, while another honoured all those who were killed in the inferno.

Another piece shows the downtown core as it was before the disaster, and a smaller neutral painting depicts three sailboats. Parkin says they represent her three friends sailing "off into the mist."

"Through that process, I kind of worked through my grief," said Parkin, looking over her shoulder at her paintings resting on an easel.

"I got to paint this ugliness and then I tried to do it in a comforting way … I can't get over the people who lost loved ones, that kills me."