Pricey Hurdle Before the Wedding: A Splashy Proposal
By Dasl Yoon June 13, 2023 11:32 pm ET SEOUL—As Oh Hae-rim started looking toward marriage, she bristled when she thought about the financial extravagance such a milestone would entail. She planned to be satisfied with a modest ring and to hunt around for a reasonable wedding hall. But the 29-year-old office worker did have her heart set on one luxury: a night at a swanky hotel where her future husband would pop the question. The number of South Korean marriages has sunk to an all-time low as the population shrinks and fewer people view marriage as necessary. Likely not helping is a wedding trend that is putting pressure on couples to take part in elaborately—and expensively—stag
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SEOUL—As Oh Hae-rim started looking toward marriage, she bristled when she thought about the financial extravagance such a milestone would entail. She planned to be satisfied with a modest ring and to hunt around for a reasonable wedding hall.
But the 29-year-old office worker did have her heart set on one luxury: a night at a swanky hotel where her future husband would pop the question.
The number of South Korean marriages has sunk to an all-time low as the population shrinks and fewer people view marriage as necessary. Likely not helping is a wedding trend that is putting pressure on couples to take part in elaborately—and expensively—staged proposals at posh hotels.
“Everyone prefers a hotel proposal,” Oh said. “It’s every woman’s dream.”
Oh’s boyfriend chose Signiel Seoul, a luxury hotel, which sells an “Eternal Promise” package with flower decorations and Champagne that starts at $1,200 a night. She snapped a photo of the rose petals and candles that her boyfriend prepared, and posed in front of “Marry Me” letter balloons holding a bouquet of flowers. She placed a blue Tiffany shopping bag containing a necklace next to her in the photo. Oh, for her part, gave her intended a fancy watch.
More than 40% of South Korean women want their wedding proposals to happen at a hotel, according to a recent poll by a local matchmaker. More than a third of men, in the same survey, cite “financial burden” for not wanting to propose.
A proposal suite designed by Grace Hong for a client.
Photo: Grace Hong
Originality matters less for marriage proposals in South Korea because most couples first seek permission from their parents, set the wedding date and often purchase the rings together—then get around to a formal proposal.
The Korean hashtag for hotel proposal exceeds 42,000 on Instagram. The proposal photos often feature flowers, balloons, a “Will you marry me” sign and, at the center, a luxury piece of jewelry or a designer handbag.
Kim Jae-hyun was stunned when his girlfriend showed him a photo of a Chanel handbag her friend received when getting proposed to at a hotel. “I started calculating how much it would all cost in my head,” he said—probably at least $3,000.
Over drinks, Kim and his friends, some married, others not, discussed whether they could afford a Chanel bag, and if it was really necessary for a proposal. His single friends thought a sincere expression of love before asking would be enough. His married friends disagreed, arguing Kim might hear about his lack of proposal panache the rest of his life.
He originally planned to propose this summer. But now he has decided to wait until the end of the year. “It will give me some time to save up,” Kim said.
Ha Myung-eon spent about $4,500 for a room, decorations, dinner and the ring. He booked six months in advance and posted photos of the proposal on social media.
Photo: Ha Myung-eon
Hotel proposals got a boost from the pandemic. Unable to travel elsewhere and keen to avoid big crowds, more young couples splurged on five-star staycations that many realized were ideal places to propose.
Grace Hong, a veteran party planner, said she used to receive inquiries to help with hotel proposals just a couple of times a month before the pandemic. Now, she gets 20 to 30 requests a month. She charges up to $750 to decorate a hotel room with flowers and balloons.
“I tell them: ‘Cut back on your lunch money for a month,’” Hong said. For the ideal social-media post, Hong tells men to book something bigger than a standard room, since it’s a once-in-a-lifetime event.
Dozens of hotels have created proposal stay packages that come with pre-decorated rooms.
On average, Signiel’s “Eternal Promise” package is booked 38 times a month, with the most demand seen in the springtime, according to the hotel. It plans to launch a more luxurious proposal package soon. Conrad, another five-star hotel in Seoul, offers an “All For Love” proposal package that includes a heart-shaped cake, flowers and wine. The package was launched because many guests inquired about proposing at the hotel, according to Conrad.
Ha Myung-eon, a 30-year-old office worker, shelled out about $4,500 for a room, decorations, dinner and the ring. He booked six months in advance to lock in at the best price. He set up three cameras to capture him asking the question. He uploaded the photos onto social media: “She said yes!” he wrote.
“I won’t lie. It’s a financial burden,” Ha said. “But my friends were jealous, especially my female friends.”
Ha’s fiancée’s hand and with her engagement ring after he proposed.
Photo: Ha Myung-eon
No country spends more per capita on luxury goods than South Koreans do, according to a January report by Morgan Stanley.
Lee Ye-rim, a 27-year-old office worker, received a Dior handbag from her proposing boyfriend at a five-star hotel in the city of Incheon just outside of Seoul.
“It’s not easy to be original in Korea,” Lee said, “so you might as well follow the trend.”
The luxury-proposal trend creates some awkwardness for those going the old-fashioned way. Kim Myung-hyun, a 34-year-old office worker, can sense some letdown from others when he admits he didn’t propose at a fancy hotel.
“I become a bit timid when I tell people I just asked over dinner,” Kim said.
Write to Dasl Yoon at [email protected]
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