The Musk vs. Zuckerberg Cage Fight

As if the prospect of a rematch between Donald Trump and Joe Biden weren’t enough, we now have the possibility of an actual cage fight between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg. There must be a sign-up sheet somewhere for participating in America’s race to the bottom.

How many times of late have you heard people say, “Classy,” meaning what they were witnessing was the opposite? We yearn for better in our politicians and public figures, and we keep getting worse.

The unwanted Biden-Trump rematch appears inexorable, as Democratic and Republican primary voters alike seem locked in to a march off the cliff. No doubt there’s a great Thelma-and-Louise adrenaline rush in holding hands for the moments before your political descent cracks into reality.

The Musk-Zuckerberg cage match appears to be on hold after Mr. Musk said he may need surgery on his neck or upper back. Still, you have to wrap your head around the notion that what they are talking about, naturally via social-media posts, would be literally a fight inside a cage between two of the most prominent chief executive officers of our time.

The possibility of a Musk-Zuckerberg fight emerged in June in a social-media exchange between the two men that resembled Robert De Niro’s crazed taxi driver, Travis Bickle, having a conversation with himself in a mirror: “You talkin’ to me?” After Mr. Zuckerberg suggested his company, Meta, might create a competitor to Mr. Musk’s social-media company, Twitter, (since rebranded as X), Mr. Musk posted, “I’m up for a cage match if he is.” Before decorum died, there are probably 10 things a CEO could have replied to this. Instead, Mr. Zuckerberg posted on his Instagram network, “Send Me Location.”

A competition between these two magnates to capture the space for social-media conversations is productive entertainment. Seeing Mr. Musk’s troubles with Twitter, Mr. Zuckerberg brought forth Threads, which was followed by the Muskian counterattack of marketing Twitter as X. But the two mega-billionaires seem to have so much time on their hands that they have to fill it with ventures out of the Roman Colosseum. The cage fight, should it happen, would be produced by Dana White, head of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, which has a partnership with Meta.

In the weeks since, we have learned that Mr. Zuckerberg, at 5-foot-7 and 155 pounds, has become a blue belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Mr. Musk, at 6-foot-2 and indeterminate weight, purports to have little interest in working out but posted on X that he has trained in “no rules streetfighting.” His former girlfriend, the Canadian singer Grimes, says Mr. Musk is “very strong.” She also says, “I would prefer that it didn’t happen.”

One may snort that this fight will never take place. Some of us think Trump-Biden won’t happen, but it has begun to look inevitable. Whatever we are drinking in the water of American culture these days makes it possible to think we will see Messrs. Musk and Zuckerberg in a cage trying to beat each other into submission.

No matter one’s views of such long-ago U.S. “robber barons” as Andrew Carnegie or John D. Rockefeller,

Parents spend endless hours figuring out ways to keep their children away from the screens of social media because they don’t want their kids to turn into idiots. But it turns out the people running the companies are idiots.

Mr. Zuckerberg has spent hours testifying before Congress that he is a serious person whose companies pose no threat to the psychological formation of the nation’s young people. Yet here are Mr. Zuckerberg and Mr. Musk willing to use the standing they have achieved in the U.S. business community to turn themselves into clickbait. Even Mr. Musk’s mother, Maye, has tweeted, “Don’t encourage this match!” But who in the social-media age wants to listen to his mother? “Mommy, why won’t you let me watch Mark Zuckerberg beat up Elon Musk?”

The UFC’s Mr. White says “it will be the biggest fight in the history of combat sports.” Memories are short these days. This won’t be the Thrilla in Manila between Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier. It won’t even rise to the Battle of the Sexes tennis match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs.

What these two have achieved would normally be enough to fill several lifetimes, but they are proving the ultimate goal in American life today is to turn oneself into a public spectacle. Musk, Zuckerberg, Trump, Biden—the dumbing down of America is just about complete.

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