Trump the Opera: The Indicted One

Just as opera composer Giuseppe Verdi relied on Shakespeare for ideas, it has been my fortune as a sometime author of operas to have as inspiration former President Donald J. Trump, whose life swings daily from tragedy to tragicomedy.

Mr. Trump prefers to take credit for everything, and he most certainly was responsible for the original “Trump the Opera,” which appeared in this space Nov. 2, 2016, days before the presidential election. Mr. Trump’s co-star was the now-retired political mezzo-soprano Crooked Hillary, who brought down the house nightly singing a duet with FBI Director James Comey about her basement server, “I do not remember (“Non recordo”).

Mr. Trump’s contribution to the success of that work led two years later to “Trump the Opera—II,” which appeared here in the Christmas week of 2018.

It is our pleasure amid these unending Trumpian times to present “Trump the Opera—III: The Indicted One.”

“The Indicted One” premieres today with a simultaneous multicity opening in New York, Atlanta, Washington and Fort Pierce, Fla., just north of Mar-a-Lago. Mr. Trump will travel on the Trump jet to play the lead role today in all four cities, and in any future venues.

Cast

The Indicted One: Donald Trump as himself

The Accomplice: Rudy Giuliani

The Indictees: Sidney Powell, Mark Meadows

The Ancient One: Joe Biden

A Peddler: Hunter Biden

The Statue: Merrick Garland

The Sphinx:

A Tribe of Democratic Indicters: Jack Smith, Fani Willis, Alvin Bragg

Chorus: The offstage chorus is played by thousands of singers from the media, who will accompany the production to all four venues. They are also listed as co-producers.

Translations provided by Google Translate.

Act One

Scene 1: A bathroom inside Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida. Cardboard boxes marked “Classified” are stacked floor to ceiling to secure the room as soundproof.

It is the day after the 2020 election. Trump is meeting with his most trusted confidantes, Rudy Giuliani and Sidney Powell. Trump reaches into a box and begins reading a classified letter from “my friend” Kim Jong Un. Giuliani rips the letter from Trump’s hands, flushes it down the toilet, and yells, “Mr. President, the election was stolen!” Trump replies, “I knew that two weeks ago.”

Trump, Giuliani and Powell stand together beneath the bathroom’s crystal chandelier to sing the aria, “Rigged and stolen (Truccato e rubato).”

Scene 2: Cafe Milano, Washington

Seated at a corner table are Joe Biden—known throughout the land as the Ancient One—and his most trusted confidantes, Hunter Biden, Merrick Garland and Karine Jean-Pierre. At a table nearby are boisterous partiers from Russia, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, China and Rehoboth Beach, Del.

The Ancient One leans forward and says, “Trump is saying the election was stolen.” Jean-Pierre, reading from her menu, says, “Our democracy is under siege.” Hunter glances sideways and tells the Ancient One about a Ukrainian wiretapper he knows who will pay him $1.2 million to bug Mar-a-Lago. Garland, staring in the distance, says, “Mr. President, you never heard that. I have a better plan.”

The four, joined by the diners at Cafe Milano, rise to sing, “We will indict him forever! (Lo accuseremo per sempre!)”

Act Two

Scene 1: Three secretive counterintelligence agents in the Democratic tribe—Jack Smith, Fani Willis and Alvin Bragg—are meeting in the office of Delaware federal prosecutor David Weiss. Weiss never appears but pushes notes under the door.

Smith says to Willis: “You indict first.” Willis to Bragg: “You first, Alvin.” Bragg to Smith: “Jack should go first.” Smith: “We’ll flip coins to decide. Heads, I order a documents raid on Mar-a-Lago; tails, Alvin indicts for Stormy Daniels ; heads, Fani indicts on 9,000 counts; tails I indict for Jan. 6.” The Indicters flip coins that roll across the floor as they head to the airport.

Scene 2: The Indicted One is sitting alone at 3 a.m. in his tower at Mar-a-Lago. He dictates insults into his phone, which are projected onto a wall screen. “Deranged lunatic,” he yells. “Witch hunt!” At the word “witch hunt,” the ghost of Crooked Hillary floats into the room. Trump rises to join Crooked Hillary in the moving duet, “We miss each other so much (Ci manchiamo tanto).”

Scene 3: Joe Biden and his son, the Peddler, are in a closed garage, taking apart a green Corvette. The Ancient One asks, “How much of it is in here?”

“It’s all here, everything!” the Peddler shouts, vacuuming out a tailpipe. “C’mon, Dad. We’re goin’ to Kazakhstan!”

Exhausted, the Ancient One falls back into the Corvette’s removed seat and performs the only aria ever sung in a whisper, “Not a joke.” (Bidenisms do not translate.)

Final Act

It is 2025. The countryside is in flames as the Republican and Democratic tribes have descended into civil war. Three months before the 2024 election, Trump is convicted on three of the 9,000 unpardonable Fani Willis counts and is sent by the Justice Department to live in exile aboard Trump Force One at the West Palm Beach airport. From exile, Trump wins the presidential election, which has a total popular vote turnout of 140,000 people. Trump, by his count, receives 90% of the vote.

It is now dusk, rally time. The plane door opens and the Indicted One—in a blue suit, white shirt and red tie—stands at the top of the stairs to sing the opera’s final aria, which is about his life. It will last for three days.

The runway is empty.

The curtain falls.

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