Cover Snark: Apologies to Jake Gyllenhaal

It’s Cover Snark time! From Kerri: I saw this cover and was immediately uncomfortable. And the longer I looked at it, the more uncomfortable I got. Either her body is made of cloth, or his body ends at his chest. Sarah: “Oh! How bendy!” Elyse: Is that the “surprise” in surprise dukes? Sarah: Or maybe it’s tickly beards that are the surprise? Lara: Her foot seems too big in comparison to the rest of her body? This is a real case of Hidden Limbs and I blame photoshop. Maya: It’s like one of those Halloween costumes where it’s really just one person! From Kylie: Herewith my humble submission to Cover Snark! I’m not sure it’s quite egregious enough – only two fonts! – but I’m certain that’s some bootleg Jake Gyllenhaal and apparently both he and the wolf have their doubts about this situation. Sarah: I CANNOT stop Laughing at this cover. Jake looks so mad! SO MAD. Tara: Photographer: “Can you do smoldering?” JG: “Sorry, big mad is the best I can do.” Elyse: The wolf kept his scarf Claudi

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Novel Jul 30, 2023 Add to Reading List

Cover Snark: Apologies to Jake Gyllenhaal

It’s Cover Snark time!

The Duke's Counterfeit Wife by Caroline Lee. A shirtless man is lifting up a woman in a green dress. He has one arm around her waist and the other behind a knee. Her boobs are pressed into his face and everyone looks shiny, like they're made of silk.

From Kerri: I saw this cover and was immediately uncomfortable. And the longer I looked at it, the more uncomfortable I got. Either her body is made of cloth, or his body ends at his chest.

Sarah: “Oh! How bendy!”

Elyse: Is that the “surprise” in surprise dukes?

Sarah: Or maybe it’s tickly beards that are the surprise?

Lara: Her foot seems too big in comparison to the rest of her body? This is a real case of Hidden Limbs and I blame photoshop.

Maya: It’s like one of those Halloween costumes where it’s really just one person!

Lone Wolf's Claim by L.E. Wilson. Most of the cover is black and white except for a random swath of blue in one corner. A long-haired man is looking over his shoulder and he looks very similar to actor Jake Gyllenhaal. A black wolf prowls behind him.

From Kylie: Herewith my humble submission to Cover Snark! I’m not sure it’s quite egregious enough – only two fonts! – but I’m certain that’s some bootleg Jake Gyllenhaal and apparently both he and the wolf have their doubts about this situation.

Sarah: I CANNOT stop Laughing at this cover.

Jake looks so mad! SO MAD.

Tara: Photographer: “Can you do smoldering?”

JG: “Sorry, big mad is the best I can do.”

Elyse: The wolf kept his scarf

Claudia: If the wolf could frown, it would.

Sarah: THE WOLF KEPT HIS SCARF.

The Reluctant Companion by H.L. Day. A shirtless man in tight leather pants leans against a giant, roaring lion. The man has long blond hair and has a fireball in one hand.

Sarah: That lion is NOT impressed

Amanda: But giant lion or tiny wizard?

Sarah: …This is a good question.

Claudia: I get it, the lion is the reluctant companion. The body language is totally “get off me.”

Elyse: Poor Aslan

Susan: That man looks less like he’s leaning on the lion and more like he’s phasing out of it Kitty Pryde style.

The Step Bro Situation by Jesse H. Reign. The background is purple smoke. The cover model looks in pain as he looks down at his chest, where he is lifting the hem of his black tank top to expose his left nipple.