Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S20 E5: Dinner of Awkwardness

It’s hot here this week (I guess it’s kind of hot everywhere, but if I think about that too much my climate change anxiety spirals).

To beat the heat, I put a squeeze up treat in the freezer to feed to Lady P like a popsicle.

…a shrimp and scallop flavored popsicle.

Pudding: Delicious!

It’s probably hot on The Bachelorette  too because everyone is in New Orleans.

There are six guys left and the four that remain after tonight will be introducing Charity to their families.

The first one-on-one date goes to Joey. They eat classic NOLA cuisine that looks amazing, dance to a band playing on the street, and have their fortunes told.

During the dinner they aren’t allowed to eat, Charity asks about his family. Then she asks how he would feel about being in an interracial relationship. She said her last relationship was interracial and her ex blew off some of the microaggressions (or overt prejudice) they faced.

Joey says he’s never dated a Black woman, but he wants to listen and learn because he wants kids with his partner one day. It’s kind of weird that he doesn’t say he wants to listen and learn for her, I think.

He gets the date rose. As she pins it on his lapel he tells her that he’s falling in love with her.

Then they go on their second carriage ride of the night because apparently the horse budget needed to be spent.

The next day, Sean and Tanner got on a two-on-one date. Neither of them have had a one-on-one date, and the two-on-one means one of them will be going home.

Captain Tom takes them on a boat tour of the bayou. He says he doesn’t understand how it works with so many men dating the same woman.

That’s okay, Captain Tom, neither do half the contestants on this show, apparently.

They pass a bunch of gators.

Pudding: Let me loose! I would murder a gator! They look so tasty!

After the boat tour, they have a crawfish boil.

The food in this episode looks SO GOOD.

Pudding: Put me on the picnic table! I want crawfish!

Then they have an awkward three person dinner. Sean and Charity have a private chat. He tells her he’s willing to take the risk of being crushed at the end of the show.

Honestly, this episode is SO BORING.

During their alone time, Tanner tells her that his “walls are up.” He said he and his ex had a small argument and she ghosted him and moved to FL which… I feel like there’s another side to that story for sure.

Back at the hotel, Dotun gets the next one-on-one date card which upsets the other guys cuz he just had one last week.

Back at the Dinner of Awkwardness, Charity doesn’t know who to send home. She picks up the date rose and says she’s not handing it out tonight.

On their one-on-one date, Charity and Dotun go on a fun run/ half marathon.

If I showed up to a date and someone told me we were going for a run, I’d fucking leave. You don’t spring that shit on someone.

Back at the hotel, Sean is feeling insecure because Dotun and Joey both have had two one-on-ones, and Charity didn’t pick him on their date the night prior.

During dinner, Dotun tells Charity that he’s falling in love with her. He gets the date rose.

Then we get a final group date with Aaron, Tanner, Xavier and Sean.

Sean, who can do basic subtraction, informs us that two guys will go to hometowns and two will go home.

Dotun comes back and is telling the guys about the fun run, and Sean gets up and walks away.

Sean says its confusing to have such strong feelings for Charity and to receive “no validation.”

Pudding: Yes, very sad. I would like another popsicle.

So he leaves his room and goes to Charity’s. He tells her that he feels rejected. Then he tells her that he’s falling in love with her.

Charity says she has connections that are stronger.

Apparently Sean wasn’t listening because he says he feels confident with one-on-one time, they could get there.

Charity tells him she doesn’t see it, and sends him home.

The next morning she looks pensively from her balcony while she considers the three guys left.

Basically they all just hang out and she talks to them individually.

The episode is just painfully dull.

Then Xavier drops the bombshell that he’s scared of being committed to one person forever.

Again, no one watches this show before going on it.

The first date rose goes to Aaron. She withholds the second one until the evening.

Charity, Xavier literally just told you the idea of being married is scary for him. What are you doing?

Pudding: Manufacturing useless drama.

Later that evening, Charity goes to Tanner’s room. There’s a lot of word salad, but then she sends him home.

Xavier and his knitting and commitment issues move on to the next episode.

Did you watch this episode or did you fall asleep?